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If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
By Anonymous
August 6, 1999
UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they
come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together
piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to
be building.
Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump
on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push
again, jump on again, and so on ...
Mac Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket
agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about
details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't
want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to
know, so just shut up.
Windows Air The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly
stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about
10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger
planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it
explodes.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket,
but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the
plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the
seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable,
the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight
meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the
great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
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